Ever since we started growing up, understanding things, believing things, we knew that everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) could be divided into two – material and abstract. Things that we could feel by senses and calculate, was to be put into the first category (with shape or otherwise). And, the rest that we could feel by heart, believe, have faith in, were considered to be the second category – the abstract.
To possess the first kind, we invented MONEY. As we could always measure the MATERIAL things, we decided upon the price for each. That’s where we created the rift between people – ones who could possess enough, the RICH and the others who couldn’t, the POOR. Money could buy a house, food of all tastes, clothes of all styles, machines of all kinds.
But, we always wondered about the other kind – the ABSTRACT. Happiness, love, contentment, peace, God, etc. were the things that fell into this category. The cause and effect of each of them always remained inexplicable. The most we could achieve was that most of the things in this category were controlled by mind, which in turn could be controlled (nothing more than a mere assumption!).
We tried to measure these things, but failed mostly. This wasn’t a difficult realization that generic rules couldn’t be applied. All these things might have depended upon the mind, but were different for each of us. The foolish game had already started!
We tried to buy them – pay any price we could. We started manipulating the ABSTRACT using money. But, did we really succeed? We tried to buy Honesty of people by paying bribes, the honesty that never existed. We manipulated people on their religious beliefs by our words and actions, the beliefs that were never firm. We invented drugs that could trigger hormones, but not the feelings. We could laugh, but not be happy. We could cure, but not be healthy. We fought wars, but never created peace. We could savor every taste, but couldn’t kill hunger. We paid for sex, but couldn’t buy love. We prayed endlessly, but couldn’t find God. We could possess, but never be contented. All we could increase was Anger, fear, chaos, misery, restlessness and the never-quenching desire.
We sought, what’s always been within us. The mind, the soul, the self is all we need to understand the abstract. It’s only the UNDERSTANDING that’s required, because something which can’t be measured, can’t be increased or decreased or created or destroyed. It can just be FELT. All we have to do is FEEL. That’s what makes us human.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Weekends.....
Of the many things that I’ve grown up learning into this IT industry, is the importance of the days called ‘weekends’. Usually, we find accustomed to such 5-day-working schedule right from our college days. But, then Saturday was just another holiday, an added advantage, sort of icing over the cake. We never understood its importance as we never sweated through our days called ‘weekdays’, back then. But now, it’s this Saturday, which is the most awaited. Saturday, indeed, has become a ‘celebrity’ among all the rest of the six peers of his, and we whole-heartedly despise Monday, amongst all, as if it’s the villain. Somehow, Sunday has lost its charm the way it had, in the school days.
Anyways, the point is, we now desperately wait for these two days to arrive so that we can do the things that we can’t during the weekdays, or simply not do anything at all! To which, I’m reminded of a question that most of us are either frequently struck with or even like to pry…..”How do you spend your weekends?” As if the answer can somehow help us measure the quality of a person’s life. Or that even spending a weekend is an art in itself! Mostly, my answer to the question is “Nothing, just relaxing..” and this is subjected to further scrutiny by the questioning body as “how is it possible that you do nothing on weekends?” and then there is piling up of some unwanted advices as “….you should go out with your folks……watch a movie……meet old friends……go partying…call the relatives….etc. etc.”
Initially, it would even make me give a little thought over the ‘art of spending a weekend’, but then I realized that I do exactly what I expect from a weekend. First of all, “..doing nothing…” isn’t an absolute phrase, it’s just a metaphor that means “…doing nothing that might interest you, or amuse you…” and why should it when it’s YOUR time, not anyone else’s. Secondly, I don’t believe that ‘doing nothing’ means ‘wasting time’. Instead, it’s the time we spend it with ourselves, completely.
For me, ‘doing nothing’ comprises of some movie watching which is mostly a pleasurable time and in my case, it even leaves an impression (commonly known as movie after-effects) which might even strike a chord within. Then there is some random roaming around the market place or the garden, to get some fresh air in and feel lively. Usually, after buying stuff (you always need to buy something on every weekend, even at a mere sight of a shop!), I just sit down with a coke can and look around. I look around at people who’re looking back at me, possibly both of us trying to figure out that have we ever seen each other before (every one of us has déjà vu!). I look around at people who’re as busy as they might appear on any other day, as if the weekend doesn’t make much difference to them. I look at few couples who’re happy together, and I feel good as they bring smile on my face due to the momentary lapse of realization of my own loneliness. Then there are people whose smile cannot conceal their sadness, and they constantly try to create an illusion of themselves having a jolly good time, even when they probably wish to be somewhere else, or with someone else, or may be alone. Then there are eyes searching for some shop to buy from, or someone to meet, or maybe they’re the ones doing the same thing that I am, just searching for emotions in other’s eyes.
This ‘seeing around’ is so intense that we even lose track of time, just sitting at a place. By every passerby that we notice, somewhere we start creating our own picture of him, portraying his personality in our own imaginative ways. His each action or movements adds a blend to his impression in us. We may continuously erase, redraw and add colors to that image but we might not realize whether the personality we’re drawing matches the real character. And from here begins the reign of our ‘judgment’. We start acting upon that image instead of the real character. This leads us to either overestimating or underestimating others. This thought process has to be controlled and can be done only by allowing it to flow, make impressions, draw images, but not FRAME them.
So much for so less time! Now, it won’t be fair enough to judge ‘doing nothing’ by just sleeping or being lazy, will it!
Anyways, the point is, we now desperately wait for these two days to arrive so that we can do the things that we can’t during the weekdays, or simply not do anything at all! To which, I’m reminded of a question that most of us are either frequently struck with or even like to pry…..”How do you spend your weekends?” As if the answer can somehow help us measure the quality of a person’s life. Or that even spending a weekend is an art in itself! Mostly, my answer to the question is “Nothing, just relaxing..” and this is subjected to further scrutiny by the questioning body as “how is it possible that you do nothing on weekends?” and then there is piling up of some unwanted advices as “….you should go out with your folks……watch a movie……meet old friends……go partying…call the relatives….etc. etc.”
Initially, it would even make me give a little thought over the ‘art of spending a weekend’, but then I realized that I do exactly what I expect from a weekend. First of all, “..doing nothing…” isn’t an absolute phrase, it’s just a metaphor that means “…doing nothing that might interest you, or amuse you…” and why should it when it’s YOUR time, not anyone else’s. Secondly, I don’t believe that ‘doing nothing’ means ‘wasting time’. Instead, it’s the time we spend it with ourselves, completely.
For me, ‘doing nothing’ comprises of some movie watching which is mostly a pleasurable time and in my case, it even leaves an impression (commonly known as movie after-effects) which might even strike a chord within. Then there is some random roaming around the market place or the garden, to get some fresh air in and feel lively. Usually, after buying stuff (you always need to buy something on every weekend, even at a mere sight of a shop!), I just sit down with a coke can and look around. I look around at people who’re looking back at me, possibly both of us trying to figure out that have we ever seen each other before (every one of us has déjà vu!). I look around at people who’re as busy as they might appear on any other day, as if the weekend doesn’t make much difference to them. I look at few couples who’re happy together, and I feel good as they bring smile on my face due to the momentary lapse of realization of my own loneliness. Then there are people whose smile cannot conceal their sadness, and they constantly try to create an illusion of themselves having a jolly good time, even when they probably wish to be somewhere else, or with someone else, or may be alone. Then there are eyes searching for some shop to buy from, or someone to meet, or maybe they’re the ones doing the same thing that I am, just searching for emotions in other’s eyes.
This ‘seeing around’ is so intense that we even lose track of time, just sitting at a place. By every passerby that we notice, somewhere we start creating our own picture of him, portraying his personality in our own imaginative ways. His each action or movements adds a blend to his impression in us. We may continuously erase, redraw and add colors to that image but we might not realize whether the personality we’re drawing matches the real character. And from here begins the reign of our ‘judgment’. We start acting upon that image instead of the real character. This leads us to either overestimating or underestimating others. This thought process has to be controlled and can be done only by allowing it to flow, make impressions, draw images, but not FRAME them.
So much for so less time! Now, it won’t be fair enough to judge ‘doing nothing’ by just sleeping or being lazy, will it!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Choices..
In every phase of life, and for every Action or Decision that we take, we spent most of the time dealing with CHOICES. I have a different understanding of the two words – Choices and Options. Options are something that might be derived of all the POSSIBILITIES, but Choices are those ‘options’ that are derived from the FEASIBILITIES. These feasibilities will depend upon our own willingness, or on someone else’s, or they might depend upon the situation.
What makes me feel or write about such crappish philosophy today, is the fact that for quite a long time now, I’ve been struggling with these choices. It makes me feel so helpless at times when the mind and heart do not conform to one another that I simply want to shut myself from everything, shred the responsibility and carelessly pick one.
There are times when opportunities allure us so intensely that one overlooks the options, and form choices just on the basis of the fragility of his own state of mind. This is worse as his decisions or actions might change the course of life so drastically that he might not even be able to look back and pin-point what went wrong, if it does. It hits him so badly that he might forget at all what made him take such a course.
But, the worst condition is that when he’s not the one to make the choices. It’s being served to him and he has to choose. Firstly, the limitation itself chokes him and then the consequences of each choice leave him crippled, nauseated and frustrated.
Right from the day when we started recognizing our identity and began creating memories of ourselves, we were thrown into this vicious dungeon of choices. To buy bicycle or a football? ‘cos you can’t have both of them. To take Science or commerce? Here we didn’t have much to choose because the day we enter our last two best years of school, the devil of ‘competition’ grabs us from both his hands, ready to engulf our childhood and innocence. And then there’s no return.
Engineering or simple bachelors in Science? Or a diploma in Computers? Once done with them, which college? Which stream? Which company? Which Technology? In these choices, somewhere a cricketer or a painter or a musician or an artist is already strangled in no time. And when we do realize this vaguely, we are already doing the same with our own children. Even the realization of this trap doesn’t free us even then, or lets us free the ones that we love. Why is this love had to be like the handcuffs? We feel handcuffed throughout our lives, by our parents, by our expectations, by this ruthless world where the ‘right to live’ has been changed by ‘earn your living’ rule. Why do we pass these same handcuffs to the coming generations? Where is our freedom? Where is the CHOICE?
What makes me feel or write about such crappish philosophy today, is the fact that for quite a long time now, I’ve been struggling with these choices. It makes me feel so helpless at times when the mind and heart do not conform to one another that I simply want to shut myself from everything, shred the responsibility and carelessly pick one.
There are times when opportunities allure us so intensely that one overlooks the options, and form choices just on the basis of the fragility of his own state of mind. This is worse as his decisions or actions might change the course of life so drastically that he might not even be able to look back and pin-point what went wrong, if it does. It hits him so badly that he might forget at all what made him take such a course.
But, the worst condition is that when he’s not the one to make the choices. It’s being served to him and he has to choose. Firstly, the limitation itself chokes him and then the consequences of each choice leave him crippled, nauseated and frustrated.
Right from the day when we started recognizing our identity and began creating memories of ourselves, we were thrown into this vicious dungeon of choices. To buy bicycle or a football? ‘cos you can’t have both of them. To take Science or commerce? Here we didn’t have much to choose because the day we enter our last two best years of school, the devil of ‘competition’ grabs us from both his hands, ready to engulf our childhood and innocence. And then there’s no return.
Engineering or simple bachelors in Science? Or a diploma in Computers? Once done with them, which college? Which stream? Which company? Which Technology? In these choices, somewhere a cricketer or a painter or a musician or an artist is already strangled in no time. And when we do realize this vaguely, we are already doing the same with our own children. Even the realization of this trap doesn’t free us even then, or lets us free the ones that we love. Why is this love had to be like the handcuffs? We feel handcuffed throughout our lives, by our parents, by our expectations, by this ruthless world where the ‘right to live’ has been changed by ‘earn your living’ rule. Why do we pass these same handcuffs to the coming generations? Where is our freedom? Where is the CHOICE?
Monday, January 31, 2011
Contemplations.....
Finally, with all sorts of motivation, courage and ditching the laziness, I’ve decided to make another post in my blog. Not wanting to acknowledge the time that passed since my last blog entry, I certainly do realize where I’ve reached since then.
Looking at the date, I came to know that today I’ve completed 17 months at Accenture, at Pune and in this so called ‘the IT industry’. The journey has, nevertheless, been fascinating so far. And the time does teach a lot of things.
Not that I’ve never written or wanted to write a post during all this time. But it always ended up saved as a .txt file in the hard disk or sometimes even unwritten and buried inside the memory, mostly because they were weird at times, unorganized, or very saddening (depending upon the mood that day!). But, today it rushed through me.
To do a recap, this journey has been colorful, mixed with all sorts of emotions. From the Luxurious and ‘crowded’ flat of Roystonea to the shreds and Loneliness of ‘Shrishti’ apartment to the Peace here at ‘Kumar paradise’, it did bring up a variety of thoughts and lessons to learn. It taught me how live and adjust with friends (now I mostly refer to them as ‘roommates’ or ‘flat-mates’, the terms that I myself used to despise) and still be all alone. It has taught me how to respect their egos and suppress your own, at times, to make peace. I did understand the importance of concentrating on the job done, rather than arguing upon who’d be doing it. This is, perhaps, what people call ‘growing up’.
But then, to ‘grow-up’ means a lot more at the social level than the personal level. Your age starts to get noticed, the responsibilities that waited for so long start to creep up on you and it’s only you who has to own your decisions and bear the consequences, if any. You can no longer wait for ‘the right time to come’ and sort the things out, instead, you now curse the pace of time. Sometimes, time goes so slow that you just want it to accelerate and take you forward (may be a few months ahead), and sometimes it goes so fast that you miss it for the tasks undone. Then, you realize that it’s just the matter of your mismanagement that you just can’t cope up.
Also, it’s not only you who is growing, but the others around you tend to do the same. And, the worst part is, they tend to develop all sorts of ‘negativity’ too, that you’ve been facing. You now curse them for not listening to you even when you’re the one too, who wants to be heard more than to listen to them. You earn, and so do they. You want to sleep, and so do they. You want to spend good time, and so do they. You want to watch a movie, they might not. You want to clean the room, they might not. You don’t want to go out shopping, they want to. You don’t want to go for biking, they might want to. It’s just that the frequency that used to match even without uttering a word, now doesn’t happen, even with a lot of persuasion.
From all the things that I miss from my college days, the important ones are the friends and the family, and the unimportant ones are the booze, stick, matamandir tea, chappan and Counter Strike. Topics of discussion have drifted from cricket, movies, girls, life to Companies, Promotions, Salary, Career and of course the inevitable, ‘The Marriage’.
Moments that count as the ‘good times’ today – Phone call of a ‘close-to-heart but far-from-sight’ friend, Facebook chats, Lunch time with colleagues, playing Pool, Outings with Friends. Hey, but these things were a day-to-day ‘schedule’ during college times, didn’t they!
The time has already begun to take big decisions, to hold the steering in your hand. I just hope to drive safe…. ;-)
Looking at the date, I came to know that today I’ve completed 17 months at Accenture, at Pune and in this so called ‘the IT industry’. The journey has, nevertheless, been fascinating so far. And the time does teach a lot of things.
Not that I’ve never written or wanted to write a post during all this time. But it always ended up saved as a .txt file in the hard disk or sometimes even unwritten and buried inside the memory, mostly because they were weird at times, unorganized, or very saddening (depending upon the mood that day!). But, today it rushed through me.
To do a recap, this journey has been colorful, mixed with all sorts of emotions. From the Luxurious and ‘crowded’ flat of Roystonea to the shreds and Loneliness of ‘Shrishti’ apartment to the Peace here at ‘Kumar paradise’, it did bring up a variety of thoughts and lessons to learn. It taught me how live and adjust with friends (now I mostly refer to them as ‘roommates’ or ‘flat-mates’, the terms that I myself used to despise) and still be all alone. It has taught me how to respect their egos and suppress your own, at times, to make peace. I did understand the importance of concentrating on the job done, rather than arguing upon who’d be doing it. This is, perhaps, what people call ‘growing up’.
But then, to ‘grow-up’ means a lot more at the social level than the personal level. Your age starts to get noticed, the responsibilities that waited for so long start to creep up on you and it’s only you who has to own your decisions and bear the consequences, if any. You can no longer wait for ‘the right time to come’ and sort the things out, instead, you now curse the pace of time. Sometimes, time goes so slow that you just want it to accelerate and take you forward (may be a few months ahead), and sometimes it goes so fast that you miss it for the tasks undone. Then, you realize that it’s just the matter of your mismanagement that you just can’t cope up.
Also, it’s not only you who is growing, but the others around you tend to do the same. And, the worst part is, they tend to develop all sorts of ‘negativity’ too, that you’ve been facing. You now curse them for not listening to you even when you’re the one too, who wants to be heard more than to listen to them. You earn, and so do they. You want to sleep, and so do they. You want to spend good time, and so do they. You want to watch a movie, they might not. You want to clean the room, they might not. You don’t want to go out shopping, they want to. You don’t want to go for biking, they might want to. It’s just that the frequency that used to match even without uttering a word, now doesn’t happen, even with a lot of persuasion.
From all the things that I miss from my college days, the important ones are the friends and the family, and the unimportant ones are the booze, stick, matamandir tea, chappan and Counter Strike. Topics of discussion have drifted from cricket, movies, girls, life to Companies, Promotions, Salary, Career and of course the inevitable, ‘The Marriage’.
Moments that count as the ‘good times’ today – Phone call of a ‘close-to-heart but far-from-sight’ friend, Facebook chats, Lunch time with colleagues, playing Pool, Outings with Friends. Hey, but these things were a day-to-day ‘schedule’ during college times, didn’t they!
The time has already begun to take big decisions, to hold the steering in your hand. I just hope to drive safe…. ;-)
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