3 Big Days...

There had been times, especially at MANIT, when it felt like we’ve had enough in a very short span of time, lots of events together, lots of emotional swings….but then, I can’t perhaps forget the last three days I’d spent, and probably I might be underestimating them right now, and would lately realize the course of my life that these three days might’ve brought and I might’ve forsaken them.

Day 1, 16th June, brought two lucrative offers, lectureship at SGSITS and an interview call from Yodlee. The first one was rather unexpected, actually both of them were, but more or less it was more surprising. After days of hardships and efforts, finally the fruit had ripened and paved the way for a full-fledged commitment towards something for the time being. There wasn’t a doubt while accepting the offer, considering the job and the salary (14k was too much to think). Then, there was another unexpected call from yodlee, asking for a face-to-face interview at Bangalore on the coming Tuesday. That was rather unusual and unattractive, considering the efforts (time and money, of course…) that were required and my own mindset about the company and the package, of course. Also a tinge of resentment due to their earlier cancellation of telephonic interview proved to be the ‘last nail in the grave’ for dropping the offer. Now, when I think about that day, the yodlee offer seems a chance or an option by the almighty as against the overconfidence I had in Accenture.

Day 2, 17th June, brought news, a bad one actually, that grows my anxiety day by day. Accenture had contacted TPO regarding the delay of joining, which was earlier understood, but not taken seriously due to the ‘good’ reputation of the company, but has now elevated fears after such an official announcement amidst the ‘lose-lose’ situation of many batch mates like us. Not only the security of ‘having a sure-shot job in hand with near joining date’ was breached, but an unsaid trust was broken. It’s like standing on an island, watching the rise of level inch by inch and having a blind faith that we won’t drown, and that shiver felt when for the first time the water touches our feet.

Day 3, 18th June, was perhaps one of the longest days I ever had and the ‘final blow’, so as to say, among the three days. The day started as the first day at SGSITS, as a lecturer, but the classes weren’t commencing so there was none to lecture to. I got to meet my other new fellow mates, who were as excited as I was, and then the HOD of CS department, Mr. Khan Sir, who was awkwardly helpful and energetic. Some ‘strategies’ were discussed with him regarding the subject distribution, teaching methodology, etc. On the way to home after an exhausting discussion, I received a call that was no less than a call from the God himself. It was from the admission section, MDI gurgaon, regarding the vacancy in the PGPHR course opted by me and, rejected and thrown into a waitlist by them, that was never meant to be cleared, but was now in my hands to accept or deny that seat. Was it a destiny’s chance or the Almighty’s way of bringing ‘twist and turn’ into the real life stories like mine, I was dumbstruck, unprepared for such a decision. I couldn’t say yes and never wanted to say no. I asked the person on the line to grant me sometime to reply, and he gave me exactly ‘some’ time of just few hours. Somehow, I composed my lightening thoughts and reached home. Then started a heavy round of discussion with almost everyone I met, or talked over phone, about the possibilities, the consequences and my own limitations. Everyone was more of a ‘convincing’ his own point rather than ‘suggesting’ or at least trying to understand me. Issues like poor placements at MDI, HR course, whooping fees structure and un-arrangeable first installment, bank rates of education loan, average package were discussed from length to breadth. But one thing that couldn’t be cleared was my own interest for which even I wasn’t sure. And one thing that was crystal clear, was the silver (if not golden) opportunity that I was about to abandon. There was a period of ‘yes’ when the discussion was almost leading to my admission, and then after a while or someone’s opinion, it was a ‘no’ and the discussion was flowing towards CAT’09 preparation for better opportunity, PSU jobs, etc. I didn’t know when I was able to drown everything into a blissful sleep, but knew that they would come up again the other morning with the sunrise. Finally, ‘no’ was the answer that gave peace to my soul, and a commitment (more of a ‘surrender’) that this wasn’t an end, even if it was.

The only wish I can make now is that those three days and those tough decisions prove to be apt and even if they don’t, they just teach a healthy lesson, and never become a future ‘remorse’.

Tough Time...

More than a month has passed leaving MANIT and the phase has changed completely. Clock ticks at a slower pace now, and when there’s nothing specific to do, one can even get caught counting the seconds. But this month has been a longer one for me, spent almost waiting.

The usual task that I can remember during the month was posting and forwarding my pathetic CV, which consists nothing more than a loser’s act of hiding the incompetence. Oops! That’s too harsh on me….

But then, there were lot of things to learn from such a vanity. To begin with, I started valuing my campus placement at accenture, that earlier seemed a cake walk at the time of placements and at that time I felt like obliging them! Then I felt empathy with all those who haven’t gotten through anywhere and have nothing in reserve, who after spending few lakhs on engineering, struggle to get a job worth few grands.

I also felt the sweat of hopelessness oozing out, when the ‘forwarding my CV’-thing didn’t really work due to various different reasons converging to few- my being a NITian, or having a job, or simply the so called recession. I always feared this, but underestimated it, or may be overestimated myself, and not getting into MDI meant 4 months straight in hand that now seem to pass with futility.
But this isn’t all, what really bites is the confusion. The confusion about the course of life, which can be changed by will right now or it may follow the time on its own. ‘Change’ isn’t that dreadful, but when the reason and result of the change isn’t known, one always prefers to stand still.

But then, there were lot of goodies too, my b’day being one of the best days. Met lot of friends, got lots of wishes, both expected and as a surprise. A get together now seems the best option to kill time that we enjoy every few days.

The pain of leaving friends and college is now getting replaced slowly, by a new pain, of getting left behind in the rush of time.