Tough Time...

More than a month has passed leaving MANIT and the phase has changed completely. Clock ticks at a slower pace now, and when there’s nothing specific to do, one can even get caught counting the seconds. But this month has been a longer one for me, spent almost waiting.

The usual task that I can remember during the month was posting and forwarding my pathetic CV, which consists nothing more than a loser’s act of hiding the incompetence. Oops! That’s too harsh on me….

But then, there were lot of things to learn from such a vanity. To begin with, I started valuing my campus placement at accenture, that earlier seemed a cake walk at the time of placements and at that time I felt like obliging them! Then I felt empathy with all those who haven’t gotten through anywhere and have nothing in reserve, who after spending few lakhs on engineering, struggle to get a job worth few grands.

I also felt the sweat of hopelessness oozing out, when the ‘forwarding my CV’-thing didn’t really work due to various different reasons converging to few- my being a NITian, or having a job, or simply the so called recession. I always feared this, but underestimated it, or may be overestimated myself, and not getting into MDI meant 4 months straight in hand that now seem to pass with futility.
But this isn’t all, what really bites is the confusion. The confusion about the course of life, which can be changed by will right now or it may follow the time on its own. ‘Change’ isn’t that dreadful, but when the reason and result of the change isn’t known, one always prefers to stand still.

But then, there were lot of goodies too, my b’day being one of the best days. Met lot of friends, got lots of wishes, both expected and as a surprise. A get together now seems the best option to kill time that we enjoy every few days.

The pain of leaving friends and college is now getting replaced slowly, by a new pain, of getting left behind in the rush of time.